It was a quiet Saturday afternoon. I found myself in my parish’s chapel, yelling at God, angry at him for calling a dear friend to move away.
Between tirades came a reply that echoed in the silence: “What if you loved me this much?”
Now, I wish I could say I piously realized the error of my ways, repented, cried tears of joy.
Even though I may not have responded well that day, the Lord’s question haunted me in the weeks that followed.
What if I did love the Lord that much?
What if I did give him my all?
What would that look like?
As the month ended, I decided to give it a shot, to go “all-in.” I’d started praying the Rosary daily a few weeks prior, so I committed to stepping it up by going to daily Mass every day.
After a 31-day Mass streak — better than any Duolingo streak I ever had, for the record — God has shown me a ton. Here are just a few lessons I learned from going to Mass every day for a month.
There will always be more work to do. Take a break.
I’ll admit, I fell into the “I’m too busy to go to Mass” camp far too often. The length of my to-do list, the howl of deadlines and the chirp of email notifications drowned out the gentle, quiet call of God to spend time with him on most days.
No matter who you are, what job you have or what state of life you find yourself in, there will always be more work to do.
Now, 31 days of Mass later, I see the value of taking a break and a breath and turning to the Lord. And I’m grateful for the peace, clarity and stability that’s given me.
God wants a relationship with us.
It’s not just that Jesus came and dwelt among us. It’s that he still comes and dwells among us — present tense. He does so in the Eucharist.
At any given moment, on any given altar, in any given place across the world, Jesus comes to meet his people. Heaven touches earth. God is made food to nourish, sustain and bless his people. He not only gave us everything necessary to know, love and serve him in his earthly life, death and Resurrection. He gives, now, all that we need to follow him.
In this month of Mass, the God of the universe has met little old me right where I’m at, every single day, and called me closer to him.
God speaks to us every day.
Well, if God wants a relationship with us, of course God would communicate with us! That’s what any good therapist will tell you — relationships are built on communication.
I realized that communication happens most often, most effectively and most powerfully through the Scriptures, through the daily readings.
More often than not, I’d walk into Mass to piously prepare and forget to check out the day’s readings. Then, when the lector would begin proclaiming the living Word of God, my heart would be pierced.
It was as if God was speaking directly to me — whether in the first reading, the psalm, the second reading on Sundays or the Gospel. No matter what I thought of the homily, either. (But y’all are doing great, Fathers!)
Daily prayer isn’t a talisman.
Partway through the month, I was feeling good — close to God, holier, peaceful and maybe a bit more patient. Things were going well!
Then, the winds changed and the storm came.
What was this all about? God, I’m praying more than I have in a while! I’m going to Mass every day! Why isn’t everything going well?!
Then it hit me. I was trying to “earn” goodness and grace by putting together an impressive spiritual resume.
But prayer isn’t a talisman. Just because we do a litany of laudable things doesn’t mean we’ve earned comfort. In fact, Jesus promises us the exact opposite (see Jn 16:33).
It was a hard pill to swallow, but I’m grateful for the reality check. It might just bring me closer to Jesus in the next 31 days.
Take the Next Right Step.
Whether you find yourself in shoes like mine or you’re much holier than I, I’d invite you to consider taking the next step in your spiritual journey today.
It’s worth it to enter into the discomfort, the inconvenience, and try to figure it out with God.
I say that not as a saint or a pillar of peaceful prayer but as a guy who’s still figuring this whole Christian life thing out.
But on only day 32 of daily Mass-going, I can tell you: There’s peace, security and joy in the arms of the Father. It won’t be easy. It won’t always be fun. But it will be worth it.
André Escaleira, Jr. is managing editor of Denver Catholic and El Pueblo Católico.
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